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Temaki for beginners...

Cut the ingredients into sticks or slices and place the ingredients onto a large plate. Cut Nori seaweed into halves to form two rectangulars.

Place the pre-cooked sushi rice onto one corner of the nori and arrange other ingredients on top of the rice. Add some Japanese mayonaise for added flavour.

Start rolling the sushi by taking one end of the corner and folding it in half to form a triangle.

Continue rolling until you have formed a cone shape.

Voila! Your temake is ready to be eaten. Best served with pickled ginger, soy sauce and wasabi.

5 ways to piss off your wife

1. As a birthday gift, register her for a weight loss program.
2. On your anniversary take her to Burger King.
3. When a telemarketer calls, act all secretive and speak in hushed voices...this will drive her crazy.
4. Call her at work and she'll get all excited...ask what's for dinner.
5. Leave the toilet seat up constantly.

10 Facts about Marriage

1. Every man wants a wife who is beautiful, understanding, economical and a good cook. But the law allows only one wife.
2. Marriages are made in heaven. But so again, are thunder and lightning.
3. One woman's hobby is another woman's hubby.
4. The easiest way to make your old car run better is to check the prices of a new car.
5. It's what people don't know about each other that makes them such good friends.
6. If you can't get a lawyer who knows the law, get one who knows the judge.
7. A man owes his success to his first wife; and his second wife to his success.
8. I recently read that love is entirely a matter of chemistry. That must be why my wife treats me like toxic waste.
9. A man is incomplete until he is married. After that, he is finished.
10. I'm an excellent housekeeper. Every time I get a divorce, I keep the house.
11. When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let him keep her.